I’m not feeling especially witty today. I have a huge headache and didn’t get much sleep last night. David woke up around 3:30 in the morning as he has been on and off for weeks now. Normally I just grab him and bring him to bed with us, but that doesn’t usually work out so well. David doesn’t hold still, even when sleeping, and I am left awake and unable to move because David would trap my arm under his gigantic head. Some nights while in our bed, he just starts laughing out loud to himself, which sounds cute but is actually a very startling way to be woken up. And I don’t care what is happening, there is nothing funny at four in the morning.
Last night I thought it would be better to try to settle David down and get him to go back to sleep in his crib and not come sleep with us. I went in his room and sat on the floor next to his crib while I talked to him and tried to get him to settle down. He would lay down, but any time I tried to leave he would pop his head up like a meer cat and cry when he saw me leaving. So I would come back and sit on the floor again and we would start the process over. I knew it would be easier to just bring him to bed with me but I was trying to stick to what I had started. Good parents aren’t supposed to give in to what their kids want, right? So I laid on the floor and when I heard his breath start to get into the heavy rhythm of sleep, I would attempt to crawl out of his room like a ninja. I am not a ninja. All my attempts at a stealthy escape would be met by David’s cries of sorrow from inside the crib.
We were at a stand-off, David and I, but I couldn’t let him win. If I gave in he would know that all he had to do was wait me out and eventually I would cave in to whatever he wanted. With a stubborn streak he inherited from his father, the last thing I wanted to do was to teach him that mommy is a pushover. Which I am. So there I am, sprawled out on the rug, surrounded by discarded Hot Wheels and Legos, humming “You are my Sunshine” while David flopped around in his crib, trying to get comfortable. I could visualize myself and how completely ridiculous I must look and decided enough was enough. I got off the floor said good night to David and walked out of the room. Of course, my exit caused David to start wailing again and I decided I would try to settle him down one more time before letting him just cry it out. I went in and told David it was time to go to sleep. When he wouldn’t settle down I reached down and patted his back and that was when I noticed that his sleeper was totally soaked. Oh yeah, I am mom of the year.
Somehow in my sleep deprived stupor I forgot to check to see if he needed to be changed. He did and in all the fussing of trying to get comfortable, his overfull diaper leaked, soaking everything- his sheets, his blanket and his clothes. So after stripping the crib, changing his diaper, giving him a quick wipe down with a wash cloth and a clothes change, David found himself happily nestled in between Casey and I. As I lay there wishing for sleep while David kicked his feet into my back, it occurred to me that if I had just picked him up and brought him to bed in the first place I would be in the same position only with an hour and a half more sleep. So much for sticking to your guns.
So that was my night and I was not ready to get up when I felt David stirring next to me this morning. I rolled over so that my back was to him, hoping that he would just go back to sleep if he thought I wasn’t awake. Then I felt a little body crawl over mine and I opened my eyes to see my son’s face hanging upside down in front of me. When he saw my eyes open, he got a huge smile on his face and yelled “Mama,” while sticking his finger in my eye. I had to smile, despite how tired I was, because today is another day that I get to be David’s mom.