I wanted to take a moment and express my extreme gratitude for all the love and support people have shown us. To all of you who took the time to read my blog about Biscuit’s passing and who took the time to express your condolences, thank you. Your comments, facebook messages, texts, and calls have made an extremely hard situation a little bit easier for all of us. I know that we all have busy lives and our own daily struggles to deal with, so the fact that so many of you took a moment to offer your support means the world to us.
Its been two weeks and a day since Biscuit died, and I guess it’s a little easier, though I don’t know if that is exactly true. Coming home to an empty house still hits me in the stomach and if I think about her or talk about her, I still cry. The most difficult part of this has been David. He doesn’t understand where Biscuit is, and though I have tried to explain that she isn’t coming home, he still asks me to “go to the doctor and get Biscy-loo.” I thought he would just forget about her after a few days, but yesterday in the car he told me “Biscuit needs to come home” and I had nothing to tell him. I don’t want to explain to him the awful truth of life, that everything must come to an end and that no one will be here forever. How can I expect him to understand the concept of death at three-years-old when I am still struggling with it at 31? Death is something that we all try to put out of our minds, but experiences like this bring it to the forefront and leave you trying to make sense of it all. And there isn’t any sense to be made.
Sorry, this post wasn’t supposed to be so dreary. It has been a weird experience to have such good news to share one day (new baby on the way) and such bad news to share the next. I will always remember my niece’s reaction, who hadn’t seen either of my posts and got both the good and the bad news at the same time. She messaged me saying “I’m crying because I’m sad about Biscuit and because I’m happy about the baby. This is the weirdest feeling ever!” and that’s pretty much how I have felt living through these last couple of weeks. Life is hard and beautiful and tragic and it just keeps moving forward even when you want it to slow down for just a minute so you can take a breath. But the one thing I know for sure is that at the end of the day, all you really have is your family and friends who love you and who try to pick you up when life has beaten you down. So to all of you who care so much for me and my family, thank you.